Enjoy the Silence

Greetings. We here at Tastiera Steak Sauce and Towing, in between devising ways to defeat our chief competitor A1, have been prodding the Alleged Artist for some time now to give us any slightest bit of a hint on when we might see more product generated by his increasingly unprolific musical mind.

Well, earlier this morning, we might have heard some sort of murmur or squeak from the other side of his locked-from-the-other-side door. Or we may have heard the neighbor’s bidet. Either way we take this as a sign that something truly unremarkable may be on its way. We will keep you posted if course, but according to the distribution of grounds at the bottom of our coffee, the new album “13” is still in the works, and a sort of “least not greatest hits” collection may follow at some point.

In the mean time, please enjoy imagining Jeopardy music (we can’t post it here or we’ll get sued again).

Best regards, The Management

Atmosphere and Powers of Ten

In 2005, Tastiera released “A Little to the Left”, and a friend at the time commented on the production quality of a few key songs being surprisingly good. He also contrasted it with a few other songs that were unsurprisingly not good. So the Alleged Artist made a commitment from that point forward not to cut any more corners just to get something out the door. That meant subsequent albums took a bit more time to produce, but the Alleged Artist still managed to crank out two in the next three years: “Stratospheric” in 2007 and “Decades” in 2008. The complete collection from each is now available on the Listen Page, and now you can judge the production quality for yourself. Only positive feedback accepted. There, that should keep the comment section quiet.

There Were Dragons


It’s been an even longer time since the last post than it was since the post before that. I think I got that sentence right.

Anyhoo, obviously a few things got in the way of the new album, this blog, and the Broncos’ return to glory. Can’t do much about the last one, but this is an attempt to infuse Tastiera with new momentum as we approach 2023.

In the last post, we completed the online repository of “Plato’s Fun Factory”, the last complete album by the Alleged Artist. So why not start this very next post, mere tens of months later, with the one before that?  And so, without further fanfare, please check out the full list of songs from “Hear Bead Rag Guns” on the “Listen” page.

Seven of these songs had already been up for quite some time, so we won’t belabor their stories here (although maybe we’ll talk about one or two in future posts). The three new ones each have an interesting tint though:

  1. “In Our Own Image” can probably best be viewed as the prequel to “God’s Eyes” on “Plato’s Fun Factory”.
  2. “63 Seconds of Zen” didn’t have a name until the song itself was complete, so the Alleged Artist knew how many seconds the “zen” part in the middle lasted.
  3. And “Bubbles” is probably the most poignant in the here and now. The Alleged Artist had both a fantastically memorable and emotional sine wave of a year in 2022, and in the days leading into 2023 has gained a newfound appreciation for the sanctity and fragility of life, which is what “Bubbles” is all about. We now can’t wait to see what comes out of that crazy mind in 2023 and beyond.

Speaking of which, we expect to be generating more activity on this blog in the coming days, weeks, and months, as “13” is finally completed. Stay tuned!

Fun with Dodecahedrons

It’s been a long hiatus since our last post. We’d love to blame the pandemic, but that should have made it easier to post something, not harder. So yeah, basically we just suck.

Nevertheless, here we are, and we are excited to announce the full posting of Tastiera’s last album, Plato Fun Factory, to the website! You can find the songs on the “Listen” page.

The interesting shape in the album cover art is a dodecahedron – one of the five Platonic solids, which represent ideal form in the universe. For more details, please catch yourself up on Plato’s blog (which is admittedly getting kind of stale).

This album came together during a transformative time in the Alleged Artist’s life. The transition is best summed up in the opening track, “Never Know”. Three of the next four tracks get political (“Sold Out”, “Partisan Me”, and “Dusk to Dawn”), with a love song in the middle (“Joyride”, now one of the Alleged Artist’s personal faves). The remainder of the album goes into reflection (“Walk in the Park”), silly fun (“Afrodite”), the Alleged Artist’s late brother (“King of Reseda”), faith and love (“God’s Eyes”), and an over the top techno-pop tribute to Carl Sagan (“Starstuff”).

In other words, this album jumps all over the place, which is what any Tastiera aficionado should have come to expect by now. Enjoy!

13, Song #2: This Here Now

When Tastiera started in 1988, the Alleged Artist was able to bang out an album every year, primarily because he had no life and was therefore home most of the time. Now he has a very full life, but he’s home most of the time because of a stupid virus.

A huge part of his very full life is his wife, and being around her more lately has apparently also made him appreciate her even more. Hence the newest song from Tastiera: This Here Now. Cherish the moment, friends.


Thirty-some years ago
Who could have known
That I would see your face whenever
I pick up my phone

Thirty less years ago
I was alone and okay
Now I want to see your face
For the rest of my days

And this here now is all I need

We are gonna fly
Never gonna die

Twenty-some weeks ago
Who could have guessed
That all of humanity
Would be put to this test

Twenty less weeks ago
We still don’t know what to do
But wherever we go from here
I’m happy to go there with you

So much at stake today
And we’ll do our part
There’s nothing I cannot do
With you in my heart

And this here now is all I need

We are gonna fly
Never gonna die
Put your hand in mine
Let’s see what we can find

We are gonna fly
Never gonna die
We are gonna fly
Never gonna die

We are gonna fly
Never gonna die
We are gonna fly
Never gonna die

Recap of the Recap of the Recap

In 2017, celebrating its 30th year of cacophony, Tastiera started a 30-week recap of its musical history with a different song posted each week. You can see those posts on the Tastiera Facebook page. The journey was completed and itself recapped in 2018. So this is a recap of the recap of the recap.

With the exception of one Tastiera song that didn’t go into an album and a few more songs from Tastiera’s alter-ego Velvet Cockroach (both categories to be addressed in a future post here), all of the “Tastiera Turns 30” songs have now been posted to the “Listen” page of this site.

Keep calm and warble on.

Into the Unknown

It’s been nearly 40 years since the Alleged Artist first started tinkering around with his own musical concoctions on the piano, instead of practicing like he was supposed to do. Along the way, after finding the word “tastiera” (which is Italian for keyboard) in a music dictionary, he threw together a dozen collections of songs under the Tastiera moniker, the last of which (“Plato Fun Factory”) was released in 2018.

With a day job and a number of other hobbies, getting more music out the door has not been easy of late. But certainly the current pandemic has afforded more time, and the Alleged Artist was beginning to get the itch – not just from having more time at home, but also wanting to say some new things about the scary new world in which we live. So album number 13 already had some momentum to it. But the horrific events in Minnesota and subsequent sudden ignition of the conversation about race across the country added some urgency to the matter. The 13th album was going to be a consolidated labor of love, released all at once, presumably a few months from now. Instead, Tastiera is reverting to the “Plato Fun Factory” model, releasing each new song as it is completed. And, not having the usual few months to stew over what to call the album, fate has determined that as well: it’s simply called “13”.

Even though Tastiera doesn’t make a bunch of CDs anymore, here’s what the CD for “13” would look like:

And here, cyberfriends, is the first track: “Flying Blind”.


Hello, this is your captain speaking
And I cannot see a damned thing
Our collective brain is leaking
The downward spiral’s in full swing 

No I don’t know why we are here
Or why we find comfort in fear
Or if we’re running out of years

Our eyes are open in our minds
We are really flying blind

You care to guess on our destination
And if it makes this all worthwhile
Are we just a decoration
Waiting to go out of style

No I don’t know the way
I only know that we’re astray
And maybe running out of days

Our eyes are open in our minds
We are really flying blind

It’s time for all to recognize
The world is filtered by our eyes
Close your eyes and empathize

That’s when you will truly find
We are really flying blind
Our sightless kings have had their day
Let their dark world just fade away

Let there be light

Hello World

Welcome to the inaugural post at the newest incarnation of tastieramusic.com! This page will become a cybercornucopia of all things Tastiera in the coming weeks and months. Until then, feel free to read and reread the “About Tastiera” page over and over again.

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